The claim that abortion inevitably leads to trauma and regret is a myth, according to one reader who described her own termination as a straightforward decision made without hesitation. Writing in response to a recent article by Roe McDermott, Sylvia Rose of Totnes, Devon, said she “didn’t want to become a mother, so I didn’t. End of.” Her experience, she wrote, was that the only real confusion came from the expectation that she should feel more conflicted than she actually did.
The assertion challenges a narrative that has been used to justify restrictive abortion laws in both the UK and Ireland, including mandatory waiting periods designed to force women to “reflect” on their choices. In Ireland, a mandatory three-day waiting period remains in place despite a recent attempt to abolish it, with a bill to remove the requirement defeated in the Dáil. Critics argue the delay serves no medical purpose and is instead a “moral speed bump” rooted in the assumption that women will regret their decision. Supporters of the measure have traditionally cited the risk of psychological harm, yet research suggests that distress following abortion is often linked to social stigma and lack of support rather than the procedure itself.
The myth of inevitable regret
The concept of a distinct “post-abortion syndrome” is contested. Studies in the UK and the US have found no evidence of such a condition, and while some research indicates an increased risk of depression or anxiety in the short to medium term, the majority of women report a sense of relief. In England and Wales, where abortion has been legal under the Abortion Act 1967 up to 24 weeks, a record 252,122 abortions were reported in 2022. The age-standardised rate reached 21.1 per 1,000 resident women aged 15–44, with the rising cost of living cited as a factor driving an 11% increase in 2023. Across Britain, more than 299,000 abortions took place in a single year.
The political landscape has shifted significantly. In England and Wales, a new law that came into effect at the end of April 2026 prevents women from facing criminal investigation for having an abortion, effectively decriminalising the procedure for patients. Northern Ireland decriminalised abortion in 2019, with services now available in all five hospital trusts, though some women still travel to Great Britain for care. The UK Parliament recently debated a clause in the Crime and Policing Bill that would disapply existing criminal law for women accessing abortions outside legal limits, meaning patients would not be prosecuted, though providers could still face scrutiny.
The reality of emotional complexity
Yet the picture is far from uniform. While the research undermines the idea of inevitable trauma, several readers cautioned against dismissing the emotional weight of the experience entirely. One woman, who asked to remain anonymous, said she agreed with McDermott’s fight for abortion rights but added that the debate had become trapped in a “moral or ethical framing” that leaves no room for grief. “I do not regret my decision to have an abortion,” she wrote. “But it was painful, heart-wrenching and represents a loss that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.” She described feeling she could not talk about her sadness for fear it would be “used as fodder for anti-abortion groups or dismissed as ‘not real’ by others.”
Another reader, who has had three abortions, echoed that complexity. “Women choose an abortion and may never regret that they aborted, but may also be traumatised by the pregnancy loss,” she wrote. “Being pregnant, even for a few weeks, changes your body, flush with hormones and deep instincts. To deny that is a disservice to women.” She said that after her first abortion she felt “like an alien – stressed, fearful, changed and in hiding” and wished support groups for women who have had abortions were as normalised as alcohol or PTSD support groups. Organisations such as Abortion Talk, ARCH (Abortion Recovery Care & Helpline), and Rachel’s Vineyard currently offer confidential helplines and counselling, but the reader stressed that the social judgment surrounding abortion remains a barrier to seeking help.
Stigma, all three letters agreed, is the defining difference between abortion and other medical procedures. Sylvia Rose drew a striking comparison: having a cancerous tumour removed from her colon felt “very much the same” as her abortion – something growing inside her that she did not want, whose removal was a relief. “The main difference, of course, was stigma. With cancer you get sympathy and casseroles; with a termination you have to be cautious who you even tell.” She imagined trying to phone in sick from work citing recovery from an abortion and concluded that “you just wouldn’t; you’d plead flu instead.”
Personal stories: from relief to grief
The three readers’ accounts illustrate the spectrum of emotional responses. For Sylvia Rose, the decision was straightforward and remained so across the decades. She felt “no attachment” and said that if she had been subject to a mandatory waiting period she would not have changed her mind. The third reader, who had a second termination for chromosome abnormalities after already having a child, said the three-day wait was pointless: “I had been thoughtful and I was certain.” She added that no one would dream of imposing a similar delay on men seeking erectile dysfunction medication or a vasectomy.
Yet for the second reader, the grief was real and lasting, even as she affirmed her pro-choice stance. She quoted Amanda Palmer’s song “Voicemail for Jill”, which she said captured the internal courtroom women often experience: “You don’t need to offer the right explanation / You don’t need to beg for redemption or ask for forgiveness / And you don’t need a courtroom inside of your head / Where you’re acting as judge and accused and defendant and witness.”
The third reader acknowledged that some women who experience post-abortion trauma may later join anti-abortion campaigns. Her response was blunt: “If you’re experiencing post-abortion trauma which sent you into the anti-abortion ranks, please do work to heal your own psyche, but get your hands off my body.”